Bulgaroctonus
See Also
Official user manual for Bulgaroctonus model
Bulgaroctonus's Owner's Manual and Maintenance Guide:
Congratulations, you have just recieved a new Bulgaroctonus (previously named therussian91 model). In order to properly use and maintain your armenian who isn't exactly sure of his ethnicity please read this manual.
Technical Specs: Name: Bulgaroctonus Type: Armenian Manufacturers: TWC Ltd Height: Unknown Weight: Unknown Length: Unknown Power Output: known to have spam explosions
Colour: red
Your Bulgaroctonus is made to fulfill all your russian needs. He is known to shout out random russian facts and make many rants against the evil west. The russian made of 100% armenian plastic, but was manufactured in Moscow. Tell it the secret password, Stalin, and you will have years of faithful service.
Accesories: Your Bulgaroctonus comes, free of charge, with: Red Army figurines Model of Constantinople Vodka dispencer Russian flag Siberian permafrost
Operating Procedure: Your Bulgaroctonus has several uses, these are just suggestions though, feel free to get your Bulgaroctonus to do whatever you wish *nudge* Standard Uses Include: russian:Standard mode. Your Bulgaroctonus will be happy to wave his flag, shout out insults to the passing Ukrainian, and play with his Red Army figurines. He will also be very happy to share his handy dandy Vodka dispenser. Warning: Reported cases of Bulgaroctonus having malfunctions in western countries.
Armenian: Tired of your little communist friend? Set your Bulgaroctonus to Armenian mode and he'll change to a socialist in no time. Let your Armenian free and he is garanteed to pick a fight with the passing by Georgian.
Byzantine: Want to further confuse your russian of his nationality? Put him into Byzantine mode and watch him fly. Will play with Constaninople and read books on Greek History. Generally a boring model, but certain to get attacked by anyone who sees him.
Maintenance:
Bulgaroctonus is generally very self sufficient but will require regular doses of spam sprees and regular vodka refills. Both of these are hazardous to Bulgaroctonus's health, but will increase his productivity significantly.
Compatibility with Other Models: All Russian models are generally hated in the west and you must make sure to keep your Bulgaroctonus model safe. War may not be avoidable. Some intresting reactions can occur with the following models: -Kscott models are known to be particularly aggressive towards Bulgaroctonus models. Several incidents of random insults and other vulgarities have been reported. -Interaction between Bulgaroctonus models and trance crusaders models will have the trance upgrading your Bulgaroctonus with Citivate software, however all occurances have resulted in viruses that cause the process to be cancelled.
And there you have it, everything you need to know to keep your Bulgaroctonus for years. Hope you liked...
Oh yeah, I'm also the editor of the Eagle Standard. Read it, or else.
