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Zznɟ ǝɥʇ

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The Fuzz
Avatar21367 4.gif.jpg

Citizen

Badges/Staff Roles:Citizen
Patron:Jimkatalanos
Patron of:MarcusTillius

Overview

The Fuzz has been a member of the Total War Center since December 30, 2006. Lord Gruffles nominated The Fuzz for citizenship in May of 2007 but the CdeC turned him down. However, nearly a year later, he was patronized by Jimkatalanos. Fuzz has enjoyed a stint as a Junior Moderator, as well as serving on the CdeC twice. A prolific writer, Fuzz has also contributed for years to both the Eagle Standard and Helios. His AARs are widely known as being awesome but quickly abandoned.


History

Fuzz's early time on TWC was spent writing useless posts and being overly polite. During the upheaval when Ian bought the site, nearly 15 of Fuzz's posts were deleted. If TWC were an English textbook, there was some pretty obvious use of foreshadowing. Fuzz found his way into the Thema Devia, like all noobs. Here he met Lord Gruffles, and the two became close friends. Eventually, Gruffles invited Fuzz to Another Forum, where he became a regular and in turn, rose through the ranks of TWC thanks to blocvotes.

Soon he grew tired of his usual haunts, and created an alternative account - the first of many. Fuzz's alts are widespread and their posts many. Some remain undetected to this day, and they will remain inactive until he has a need for them. His prolific alt-creating habit turned south late in 2008, when his alts were systematically hunted down and destroyed. It has been suggested that Augustus Lucifer is Chancellor Palpatine, and The Fuzz is a bunch of Jedi scattered across the galaxy. These rumors appear to have no basis in fact.

The Fuzz soon lost his trademark kindness and turned bitter. Friends suggest this was due to outside stresses, but others believe he had had a pretension of invulnerability. Fuzz's trolling became more brazen and he created his first enemies. Turning to the example of the great Evariste, The Fuzz proposed the creation of a squad armed with negative rep to go around the TWC and knock the "n00bs down a peg or two." This proposal was generally met with enthusiasm, but it was deemed to be technically infeasible. When TWC was upgraded to the new version of vbulletin, the Elite Strike Force Team Squad #7 group was created, with Fuzz at its helm. It's mysterious nature and hilariously redundant name caused great fear among the members of TWC. The Fuzz is also known to have eyes like a girl, thus making himself abnormally attractive to men in committed relationships.

Journeys of Husayn ibn Fuzzayd

One day, The Fuzz had an identity crisis, and a second personality manifested itself. This personality is that of Husayn ibn Fuzzayd, who is an Islamist. He enjoys hate rape, medieval tortures, and posting in hilarious broken English. He frequently quotes the Muslim sayings in Medieval 2 Total War. Many alts of The Fuzz were in fact controlled by this personality. The Fuzz's attempts to separate the two personality's infractions has been met with resistance by TWC staff.

The Prophecy

The recent (and less recent) goings on TWC have created instability, and from this uncertainty came a prophecy. It is as follows: When The Fuzz was suspended, Augustus Lucifer put into motion the secret plan, Order 66. Sources claim he was heard uttering the phrase, "Execute Order 66!", then seen leaning back in his chair and looking self-satisfied. Each of The Fuzz's alts put up a hearty defense, but in the end, the might of the Galactic Empire were too much. The few that remained went into hiding to train others. Today a small number of alts eke out a humble existence on the outlying regions of TWC.

When The Fuzz's suspension is up, he will secretly persuade newbie moderators to free his alts. After the number of alt accounts freed reaches a certain level, TWC will become much like New York City after the Ghostbusters's holding area was shut down by the EPA. While the members of the Common Community are fighting off ghosts, Zool, and the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man, the Elite Strike Team Force Squad will ride in to triumphantly save the day.

This action will be, in effect, a coup, and TWC will then be ruled by the ESTFS#7. Some religion scholars believe that it is during this time that Miraj will return from Paradise to lead the righteous armies of the ESTFS#7 to victory.

Tales & Mythology

As related by Heinz Guderian: Fuzz was a nice boy. His mom told him to never speak to strangers. One day, his principal sent him a message in class saying his mom's office had called and was sending someone else to pick him up from school. Not his mom as was normal but a co-worker.

When Fuzz left school he remembered the message and expected someone else to pick him up. In a short while, a swarthy thickly built man arrived in a beat up van with blacked out windows. He said to Fuzz he was his mom's co-worker and he was sent to pick him up. Fuzz happily got into the van, ignoring the stale smelll of sweat.

It transpired that this man had sent the message to the principal using a female slave who impersonated Fuzz's mom. The swarthy man was a Mamluk slave recruiter and intended to sell Fuzz to the Fatimid Empire. The Fuzz would become a cavalryman in the Elite Mamluk Royal Guard and would go on to distiguish himself under the banner of Sultan Baybars. Unfortunately, Fuzz would never see his family again and for this he lamented getting into the beat up van, a van that stank of Arab sweat and the cries of child rape.

Current Whereabouts

Currently, The Fuzz is upsidedown and backwards!


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